some part of me refuses
to get more than just enough
sleep
i could drown in it
if i stayed under too long

under the covers, i mean
i swear i don’t stare at the river
longingly
when i cross the bridge
i promise i didn’t mean what i said

my mood is always a step away from
sensible
a leap away from yours
and it seems if i’m happy with you
i’m a little less here

on the nights you are missing
on the mornings you don’t try
i climb inside the hole in my mind
and surprisingly,
eventually,
i take solace in the discontent

i didn’t think i was the type
who pushed away
i didn’t think
i could only do easy
but it’s always been like this

your inconsistency
my dissatisfaction
are the only reasons
i’m still waiting